Daydreams; another way to realize GOD is in control

There’s a question that I often ponder, though I still have never found the answer to, no matter how much I think about it;

“Why do we think we know what we like/want, and then when we get the complete opposite, it turns out that THAT is actually what we needed all along?”

It’s funny how these things happen. You make up all these wonderful things in your head, things that you think will make your life “complete” if you get them, but do we ever really get them? Usually not, I’ve come to realize that we usually get the complete opposite of what we wanted, and somehow that always turns out BETTER than what we wanted.

I remember when I applied for my first job at the most amazing camp in the world, Camp Berea (YAY!). I had wanted to work there since I first started going there at seven years old. And all that time I was convinced that I was going to work in the kitchen, because I was told that when you applied at you could only work either maintenance (ew) or kitchen. So that was what I applied for, I applied for the kitchen. When it came time for my first phone interview I was informed that there were no spot in the kitchen left, that they were all taken by past staff members. So I was given an option; I could either work maintenance, or I could run the craft shop with one other girl (not because guys don’t like crafts, they do). So I chose the craft shop, and I was kind of excited, kind of nervous, but pretty put out that I wasn’t going to get to work in the kitchen. I mean you would too if you had thought for 10 years that was what you were going to be doing THIS summer. THIS summer had finally come, and I didn’t get what I had thought was going to be the perfect “first summer job”. I got pretty much the complete opposite, and it was so much better. I love the craft shop. I get to hang out with kids all day, and make things. Seriously, how cool is that? And I made some amazing friends, hey, they may be 12, but I still talk to them at least once a week! At the end of the summer I got to work the kitchen for two weeks, and yeah, it was awesome, and I totally loved it, but I wouldn’t have picked it over my job at the Craft Shop, never. So why is that? Why did I think that this was going to be what I wanted? I made this all up in my head, thinking it was what I wanted, but it really wasn’t what I NEEDED.

I feel like we all do this at least once in our lives. And you all know what I am talking about. Yup, significant others. There, I said it. There are some of us (myself included) who spend our whole lives making up this awesome, perfect, everything you want right down to where there freckles are, kind of person in our head. And you plan how and when and where you’re going to meet, and how and when you will get engaged, and how many kids you will have, and what they look like and their names, and EVERYTHING. And of course there are some people who do the complete opposite. They spend their whole lives saying that they don’t need or want anyone. I even dated a guy like that (What was wrong in THAT relationship? If you even knew…), but then you get something or someone completely different, and you realize that all along that is what you truly needed. You only made those things up in your head because those are the things that will keep you the way you are now, but anything opposite is too scary. That is defiantly what happened to me. I was convinced that my husband would be ‘a blue eyed, sandy blonde hair, about 6 foot tall football player. He would be Irish just like me. We would have 3 boys, all with Irish names, and they would all have blonde curly hair. We wouldn’t be rich, but we would be well off. We would meet in college, but not date until I was around 25ish, get married a couple of years later’. That kind of guy. I had everything figured out. But man, did god had something different in mind. Here’s the real man of “my dreams”, the one I really needed all along. And yeah, he’s completely different, and if he even changed one thing about himself I would go insane; ‘green eyed, brown hair, 5 foot 8, guitar player. Completely in love with JESUS (See what I left out before? Yeah, so much better) he is Irish though, but I have this feeling he wants more than 3 boys. I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a girl somewhere in there too. They probably will all have Biblical names, not Irish. I have this feeling we won’t be rich, and probably not “well off” until a while after we get married. We met the summer I was 16, and I was dating another guy, one I thought I would be with for a long time. He never officially asked me to be his girlfriend.’

See how much different that is? See how much better I am off? So this is what I am saying; no matter what you think is right for you, you aren’t in control. God is, and only HE knows what is actually right for you. And sometimes it’s completely different than what you had in mind.